vote FOR equality

Two things in today's blog. 1) I met Amy Sedaris and 2) I am deeply concerned about a growing movement of hate, ignorance and intolerance in my state of California.

I will address the second first, and then finish off with the cute story.

Many of my dearest, most beloved friends got married this year.

Kristin & Mark


Amanda & Eyad


Anna & Ted


Ryan & Chris


I found out today that support FOR Proposition 8--a measure that would amend the California constitution to ban marriage for same sex couples--has actually grown. It's actually ahead in the polls.

I can't even believe it. I thought it would get a sound smackdown, and I'd just find myself feeling sorry for that percent of my state that is so filled with hate and fear in their hearts that they would misguidedly vote for such a measure.

The thing is, they've launched this huge advertising and grassroots campaign that claims all kinds of nonsense. They actually believe that if we allow couples like Chris and Ryan to get married, it poses some kind of threat to their values and their way of life. They've even suggested that it will somehow affect kids in school, or something? It's ridiculous.

The Huffington Post/RADAR posted a sample of this kind of outreach, along with a point-by-point response to all their ridiculous claims, so I don't really need to get into that here. The California Superintendent of Schools also did a great job of rebuffing the latest attack.

The biggest concern now, 11 days away from from the election, is making sure they have enough funds to reach the voters of California and make sure they understand that voting AGAINST Prop 8 is a vote FOR equality.

For Kristin & Mark, Amanda & Eyad, and Anna & Ted, I got them a wedding present off their registry. Ryan and Chris told us specifically, "We have too much stuff--no presents!" So instead, I'd like to do this for them: all of you who would like to protect civil rights and the right for everyone to marry in California, please donate whatever you can to No on Prop 8. You might not get a thank you card, but you will get a nice warm fuzzy knowing that you've contributed to California couples in love, who deserve the same civil rights as anyone else.

Now for the cute story: I went to a book signing for Amy Sedaris last night where she did a Q & A with the audience (always awkward, I hate them), a woman actually asked her to cut her hair (Amy: "Um. When was the last time you washed it?") and she did, and then signed copies of her fantastic book, I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence. My friend Dre was kind enough to snap a picture of us together, so I walked behind the table, stood next to her, and here's what happened next:
Dre: Wait a minute, I have to take another one, your eyes were closed.
Amy: Mine?
Dre: No, Dinah's.
Amy: Bitch.

ONLY Amy Sedaris gets to call me a bitch and make me love her even more.

A year ago today

Happy Anniversary, baby!

Mix of the Month: May

mAc & Dinah: The Soundtrack
(We gave these out as favors at our wedding. The cases doubled as programs.)

You're the First, the Last, My Everything . Barry White - If there's a better way to kick off a celebratory mix of love songs, I don't want to know about it, because I think this one is perfect.
You're the Boss . Brian Setzer Orchestra featuring Gwen Stefani - When I first heard this, I just thought it was a cute, flirty duet between strong-willed lovers. And then I grew up and realized that might a little, um, dirtier? "Well maybe tonight, I'll be the boss. And tomorrow night... I'll be the boss."
Happy Together . The Turtles - From the Muriel's Wedding soundtrack, and one of many anthem-like songs on this mix. I love the change in dynamics on this track the best. I walked down the aisle to another song off this soundtrack--the remix of Dancing Queen.
In Your Eyes . Peter Gabriel - Because, as Erica says, "What straight woman didn't get moist watching John Cusack holding the boom box over his head blaring Peter Gabriel in Say Anything?"
Just the Two of Us . Bill Withers - This is Amy & Chip's song, but we borrowed it for the mix because it's just so darn sweet and sexy.
Thank You . Dido - This song was actually featured in Sliding Doors before Dido's "No Angel" was released. I expect to get shit for liking Dido, maybe justifiably so, but I don't care. I'm grateful for mAc, and we're grateful for the friends and families that have given us so much. "I just want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life." I danced with my dad to this song.
Such Great Heights . Iron & Wine - There's a moment in Garden State when Zach Braff and Natalie Portman are just laying down, facing each other, enjoying each other and the stillness surrounding them, with this song capturing the moment. A brilliant remake of a great love song.
Come What May . Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman - This style of song is the least us, what with its overblown lite rock Celine-type qualities, but it still gives me goosebumps. I think Moulin Rouge is fabulous, and this song is just a pure, unabashed declaration of love.
At Last . Etta James - One of my all-time favorite songs, period. Now even more so, because it's the song we danced to for our first dance as husband and wife. (And let's face it, given mAc's love of dancing, probably our last.) This song was also featured in Pleasantville.
True Love . Pat Benatar - This one was a present from my friend Mikey many years ago, before I ever met mAc. Today, the lyrics are kind of perfect for us: "I called the man at the video store and said, 'Cancel my membership I won't be needing it no more.' There's a man to occupy my nights and, baby, it's just the right amount of true love." Well, that and he has a collection of over 3,000 DVDs.
Let's Stay Together . Al Green - Because when I think Pulp Fiction, I think of great love songs. Actually, I kind of do. "Son of a Preacher Man" almost made it on this mix as well.
Fever . Peggy Lee - Was any love song ever so sexy? "We give you fever til you sizzle, but what a lovely way to burn." Hot, sweetie.
Oh My Lover . The Detroit Cobras - My sister Amy walked down the aisle to this song. 'Cause she's cool like that.
Everlong . Foo Fighters - This is mAc's favorite love song. We also used it for our recessional. I'm crazy for lyrics like, "The only thing I ever ask of you / You gotta promise not to stop when I say when."
All I Want is You . U2 - I've loved this song ever since it made me ache watching Ethan Hawke and Winona Ryder pine for each other at the end of Reality Bites.
Can't Take My Eyes Off You . Frankie Valley - It's like two songs in one: the low-key, yearning love song, and the loud, shout-from-the-rooftops declaration. Teen movie aficionados like myself may also remember Heath Ledger's performance of this number in 10 Things I Hate About You.
I Melt With You . Modern English - Because it's the love song at the end of Valley Girl.
I Love You Always Forever . Donna Lewis - I just, I don't know. I just love it. It makes me happy.
Running . No Doubt - The perfect love song for the couple on the go. No, really. "We're running, running / Keep holding my hand / So we don't get separated."
You're Nobody 'Til Somebody Loves You . Dean Martin - The Swingers soundtrack has several great love songs to choose from, but this one is the one to finish the mix.

So May's mix of the month is both late and mushy, neither of which should be surprising. We were really busy and lovey in May. Of course, I think we still found a way to include some fairly rockin' tunes. We might be in love, but we're still us.

Mushiness. Suck it up.

I've talked about this before, but I just can't help myself.

It's not cool or snarky or funny to talk about love, so if you come to this site to be entertained, then you are SOL. Today, at least. Maybe tomorrow I'll tell you about some of the outfits I saw at this beer-launching party I attended last night because hoooooooWEE are Angelinos lost without some crappy trucker hat/Ugg boot/Kangol/frilly mini skirt trend to follow. I'm talking Laura Ingalls Wilder in the same room as Humpty Hump, y'all, it was NOT pretty.

Where was I? Ah, yes. Love.

Basically I was reading this forum online and people were trading their ideas on what love is. Really insightful stuff, actually. I started to compose my two cents, however, and it turned into, like, a buck fitty. Then again, I am a newlywed and, as such, madly in love and prone to mushiness. Suck it up.

I have so many details I want to share about our wedding which was, in my mind, perfect. Not because everything went without a hitch, although I'm pretty sure it did. And not because it was everything a "perfect wedding" should be although, for us, it totally was. What was perfect about it, really, was how very US it all felt. The venue, the food, the music, the attire, everything. Even the ceremony, which is one of the last details we hammered into place.

We talked a lot about what we wanted for the ceremony. "Short" was the first word to pop out of our mouths, followed by "meaningful." We wanted something that encompassed us, our relationship, and the reasons for why we were making this commitment to each other, in front of all of our family and friends. The theme quickly became, simply, "Love."

mAc's dad, our officiant, talked about the Bible verse Corinthians 13, the whole "Love is patient, love is kind" thing. But he also put it into context, telling the whole story for why Paul was writing that letter to the Corinthians, and exactly what form of Love he's referring to.

Because there are different kinds of love, right? There's a brotherly, familial love, there's romantic love and there's the plain ol' horny "Naked, please!" kind of love. But in this verse, the Love he's referring to is actually called Agape, which is the word for a love that is both unconditional and a conscious choice. It's a good word.

We also had two readings, from mAc's sister and from one of my best friends. My new sister-in-law read a quote from, of all things, Captain Correlli's Mandolin. I know, Nic Cage's accent, but seriously? Check it:
"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because that is what love is.
Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of eternal passion. That just being 'in love' which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is leftover when being in love has burned away, and that is both an art and a fortunate accident. Both of your parents have it, they have roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms had fallen from their branches they found that they were one tree and not two. That is what we see in you."

Great, right? Our other reading was also love-centric, although it ended up taking a slightly different approach. I tasked my dear friend Mike with finding something that described love, marriage and commitment, and he ended up not only reading the Bruce Springsteen quote I suggested, but the accompanying email that I sent him as well.
Bruce: "See, bands get formed by accident, but they don't survive by accident. It takes will, intent, a sense of shared purpose, and a tolerance for your friends' fallibilities...and they of yours. And that only evens the odds."

Me: "Even though he's talking about a band, the same concept applies to lasting relationships and, in this case, marriage. Maybe mAc and I came together by accident; maybe it was fate; maybe it was God's Plan. But no matter who or what gets credit for two people coming together, they don't stay together out of luck, they stay together out of will, intent, a sense of shared purpose and a tolerance of each other's fallibilities.

And then, when you take that and elevate it so that instead of tolerating each other, you celebrate each other, and your will and intent and shared sense of purpose is focused on how you will love and cherish and support the other, well, then. I think you've gone from a marriage that will probably work, to a divinely blissful union that makes you thank God (or fate or chance) *every day* that the two of you were able to find each other.

So there's that."

So, overall, what is love? For me, it boils down to one thing: choice.

Sometimes it may seem like love has chosen you, especially when your beloved is singing badly or snoring or farting or slurping and you find yourself thinking, "Awww! He's so Dreamy!" (Followed immediately by, "The hell? Ew!" And then, "But still... hee!") It's a weird phenomenon that happens to a person in love, and it's easy to write it off and say, "Yeah, but I'm in love," as though it's something that happened to you and it just can't be helped.

But the truth is the good stuff? The true stuff, and the lasting stuff? It is a choice you make, and it is unconditional.

I love you, baby.

It really was perfect

In a word: perfect. And as someone with fairly high expectations for "Our Special Day," that's saying a lot. Except it isn't, because it's accurate--it really was perfect.

I'll elaborate more, but I'm exhausted. I think I'll change my name and flee the country. Or maybe just flee the country for a little while and change my name when I get back.

To everyone who came, thank you. We love you! To everyone who missed it, the pictures will be up shortly...

Just me then? Oh, fine.

You know that moment, when you're in the final stages of wedding planning, when you're sitting at the computer at 6 a.m. waiting for your mom to come over so you can go buy flowers, and you've only had 2 1/2 hours of sleep because even though you got back from your bachelorette at around 1, you stayed up til 2:30 finalizing the playlists for the wedding on your computer so you just wouldn't have to worry about it the next day, and now that you're exhausted, awake and getting ready to do your next project, you're both angry that you're up so early on so little sleep and resentful of your fiance passed out on the couch in front of you, or at least you would be if you weren't so tired?

No? Just me then? Oh, fine.

In other news, my bachelorette took place last night and confirmed, once and for all, that I know the most fabulous women in the world. And the coolest men, for that matter, as I got a few of them as well. Ladies, if you're reading: I had an amazing time, it was so wonderful to see you, I appreciate so much that you're here and I love you very much!!!

May the good times continue to roll. Right after a nice long nap.

It's definitely stress.

Today's my last day to myself before the wedding and it's almost over. At 7:30 mAc comes home, at 8:30 my best friend shows up to help me finish stuff, and at 9:30 my brother and his girls arrive. And with that, we are officially off to the races. Everyone else is in tomorrow and Thursday.

I've had this extremely tight feeling in my stomache for the last couple hours. I couldn't tell if it was stress or if I was just hungry. So I ate something.

It's definitely stress. Oh, what a relief it... isn't.

Among other things

Yesterday I decoupaged 108 votives for our wedding. It was extremely time-consuming and tedious, but they came out GREAT.

Only 6 more days to go! Time's a wastin'...

One Week

In exactly one week, I'll take my father's arm and walk down the aisle to get married to the love of my life.

So, you know, the blog's a little outdated. What can I say? I've been a little busy.

Look out!

We have a license to . . . marry. Okay, so it's not as dangerous as a license to kill (although in the wrong hands, Britney), and not as Corey as a license to drive. But we have one. Because the really fun thing about getting married is the paperwork.

In other news, I've lost 6 pounds over the last month and over an inch in the circumference of my waist, hips, butt, etc. All because I discovered a fabulous new way to reduce the mass of my ass. Goes like this: eat less crap, eat more vegetables, exercise 3 - 4 times a week. What? That's not new? Just me, then? Oh well. But hey, it works!

Finally, I desperately want these

but in a lower heel and in a less retarded price range. Still, I had to share, because looky! How pretty!

Ah, Choo.

The Countdown's ON

It's been ages, but you know what? I'm getting married in 3 weeks. May 15. I have things to do. You know--buy shoes, get a marriage license, finalize an itinerary for family/wedding party, buy more decor (because I'm not at all panicked that our venue is too dark or sparse), and figure out how I'm going to make The Pox that has broken out across my face go away. The Vesuvius-like formation on my cheek is especially problematic. It's so deep it's going into my soul.

In the flip side...I'm getting married in 3 weeks! Wheeee! How exciting is that? I'll tell you: very, very. Of all the things I'm nervous about, that's the one thing that actually calms me down. The fact that I have no idea how many flowers we need freaks me out; the idea of being married to this guy thrills me beyond belief and oddly relaxes me in the midst of all the last-minute chaos of wedding planning.

But what about you, dear reader? What are you going to read when you've checked my blog for the 3rd week in a row to discover that I haven't updated sweet F A? Well, I'll tell you. My friend Allistair finally started his own blog, complete with razor sharp wit, geeky links and drunken photos. My friend Alf, bless him, got sacked from the hive of evil and idiocy (aka "talent agency") where he worked, and his since gotten more prolific. The Mea Culpa entry is especially awesome. And finally, if you've ever wanted to read the blog of a sassy, Southern Miss Priss-turned-funeral director, and you have an account on MySpace, then check out the poetry and prose of my friend Amanda. It reads like Le Tigre covering a Smiths song.

Or, if you're here just for me, then just stay tuned. If you're really lucky, I might tell you more about what kind of votive candle holders we get and how our ceremony programs turn out. Good times.

Mix of the Month: March

This month's mix is late but, I assure you, well worth the wait. As I mentioned earlier, I was Showered last weekend. I received an amazing amount of slinky theengs, not to mention a Cuisinart Griddler (robble robble) that got mAc to cook me a steak this week. A steak, people.

As if all of this wasn't enough, my sister Amy also went to all of the women on the shower guest list and asked them for some suggestions for a mix she was putting together for mAc and me. Specifically, their favorite make-out music. Rawr.

The result is below. There's a lot of information, so I'll show you how the system works:
Song/Artist (Album) "liner notes" ~Contributor [My commentary]

Music for mAckin'

1. I've Got the World On a String/Frank Sinatra (Classic Sinatra - His Great Performances, 1953-1960) “What a world, what a life - Dinah and mAc in LOVE!!!!”~ Erica
2. Twilight Time/The Platters (All-Time Greatest Hits) "One for the Aged" ~Carolyn
3. Love Potion #9/Herb Alpert (Greatest Hits) ~Amy
4. The Way You Look Tonight/Ella Fitzgerald (Jazz 'round Midnight Again: Ella Fitzgerald) “We love you and pray God's absolute best for you and Mac!" ~Elizabeth
5. You're The First, The Last, My Everything/Barry White (All Time Greatest Hits) ~Kristin M.
6. Please Baby/Big Bad Voodoo Daddy (Big Bad Voodoo Daddy) “This is a very persuasive one” ~Amy
7. These Arms of Mine/Otis Redding (Love Songs) “Makes me want to crawl into the speakers and nestle right into that man's arms. Kinda nutty, but true. The rock-steady piano, the tension-building guitar, the desperate vocal yearning, this is one of the greatest slow jams ever. I defy anyone to listen to it and not want some kinda hug.” ~Matti [There are few things I enjoy reading more than my sister Matti's liner notes. They're thoughtful, passionate, honest and occassionally flat-out brilliant. In addition to introducing me to The Ramones and many others at a tender, single-digit age, Matti is the one who converted me from "music fan" to "true believer." If you're good, I may someday tell you how.]
8. You Can Leave Your Hat On/Joe Cocker (The Best of Joe Cocker) “my personal favorite” ~Gretchen Vogel
9. The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face/Roberta Flack (Softly With These Songs - The Best of Roberta Flack) “Love, Mom” [Mom gets all kinds of sappy with this song, it's really cute. Also, Amy shared a little song-organizing secret here: first, she lined up the seduction. Then the strip-tease. Then, here it is the first time! Followed by...]
10. At Last/Etta James (Etta James: Love Songs) ~Elizabeth [At last! Hee! Also, when we were listening to this during the shower, my old friend Audrey reminded me that I told her, in high school, that I would dance to this song at my wedding. There is an excellent chance that prophecy will come true.]
11. Our Love Affair/Michael Feinstein (The M.G.M. Album) “I like the words – from the movie An Affair to Remember” ~Teedle [As in, "Aunt Teedle." Like you don't have an "Uncle Doody" or a grandparent you call "Paw Paw" or something.]
12. Didn't I Blow Your Mind This Time/The Delfonics (Jackie Brown Soundtrack) ~Amy [Another look into the mind that organized this mix--this is intended to be a, um, post-nookie song. You probably guessed that. I'll shut up now.]
13. I Believe (When I Fall In Love It Will Be Forever)/Stevie Wonder (High Fidelity) ~Amy
14. Lady/Kenny Rogers (42 Ultimate Hits) “Trust me to like something about knights in shining armor!" ~Ellen [Because Ellen, like many girls, was raised to believe that a man would come and rescue her and marry her and make her life complete. In my family, we were raised on The Practical Princess, in which the girl helps herself, helps the guy while she's at it, and feels pretty good about her life whether she's single or not. I'm not ripping on my cousin or her parents, I'm just saying...Thanks Mom & Dad.]

Lip smAckin' Mix

1. All I Want Is You/U2 (Rattle and Hum) “by my boys U2. she'll know who that one is from. ;-)” ~Anna
2. Save a Prayer/Duran Duran (Rio) ~Amanda
3. Heaven The/Golden Palominos (Pure) “the sexiest song ever made. Ever” ~Amanda
4. Reel Around the Fountain/The Smiths (The Smiths) ~Amanda
5. Fly On the Windscreen/Depeche Mode (Catching Up With Depeche Mode) "It's basically about how we could die at any minute so we'd better get busy right now” ~Audrey [Sing it, sister.]
6. Open Arms/Journey (Journey: Greatest Hits) ~Karen [The fact that mAc's cousin's wife put this on here means that I can't help but picture that preppy, church-going, conservative cousin ...makin' out with his equally preppy/conservative wife to Journey. And while it's a little disturbing? It's also totally fantastic.]
7. All Kinds of Time/Fountains of Wayne (Welcome Interstate Managers) “But wait, you say, isn't that song about football? Indeed it is. But the dreamy guitars, the soaring vocals, the slow dance groove--this song gives me goosebumps every time despite its inevitable overexposure by the NFL. So, yes, it's about football, but it's also sweet, romantic, and totally apropos ('cause when a groom's getting busy with his 'bride to be' she likes it when he's got 'all kinds of time' ;-))." ~Matti
8. Someday/Sugar Ray (14:59) “This unusual pop song is not about teen infatuation, desperate crushes, or unrequited desire. Instead, it's an homage to love over the long haul: 'Someday, when my life has passed me by, I'll lay around and wonder why you were always there for me...' A two-part harmony reminder that we're all gonna die celebrating the mysterious fabulousness of faithful devotion--what more could a girl want to get her motor running?” ~Matti [See what I mean? She makes Sugar Ray sound Deep.]
9. Sugar Water/Cibo Matto (Viva! La Woman) “Everyone’s favorite sexy dance song” ~Amy
10. Mambo Sun/T. Rex (Electric Warrior) ~Matti
11. Dirty Mind/Prince (Dirty Mind) ~Matti
12. Eyes Of A Stranger/Payola (Valley Girl (Music from the Soundtrack)) “'cause, you know, it's the love song from Valley Girl.” ~Amanda
13. Right back inside my heart/Angelo Badalamenti/Julee Cruise (Twin Peaks Soundtrack) ~Amy
14. Let's Get It On (Radio)/Marvin Gaye (Let's Get It On (The MPG Groove Mix) – EP) “ALL TIME FAVORITE makeout song” Kristin M and Gretchen

To all the ladies who contributed, thank you so much. This is a truly wonderful gift. Don't be surprised when you see some of these same songs on our favors on May 15. As for those of you who couldn't get song suggestions in on time, fret not. I'm gunning for a third CD. (Submit your title suggestions under Comments.)

Love, Love, Love

This past weekend, I was Showered.

I'm not sure where the tradition for showers comes from or the official reason they're called "showers." Perhaps it's because they're for showering the bride/couple/mom-to-be with gifts.

Personally, I think it's all about the Love, man.

It's hard to put into words, but I don't think I have ever felt more LOVE in one sitting in my entire life. I mean, I enjoy throwing parties for people and gifting them with treats and wishing them well.

And I treasure my family and friends above ALL.

So when I was sitting at my parents' house, taking in all of the decor and food and favors that my mom, aunt and cousin had pulled together for this amazing tea party, opening gift after thoughtful gift from my sisters and aunts and cousins and friends old and new, and listening to the 2-CD set of makeout music my sister had compiled with all the songs my friends and family had suggested, I was consumed with one singular thought: I am loved.

And the universe won't let it be, either. I came home last night, bags bulging with cookware and slutty lingerie, to find that my fiance had done all these wonderful projects around our apartment for me while I was gone. Then today, I received a package from my dear friend Joe filled with all kinds of goodies including, humorously, a book on wedding cake and a book on getting fit before the wedding (presumably so you can have as much cake as you want).

I am truly loved.

It's such a mind-blowing thing that I barely know what to do with it. The only thing I can think to do is to pass it on.

Because, think about it: YOU. Are truly loved.

If you have ever received a thoughtful gift from a friend or family member.

If you have ever received a compliment.

If you have ever gotten an email saying, "I heard this song today and totally thought of you."

If you have ever been invited.

If you have ever known someone to go out of the way for you.

If you have ever bought yourself a CD or new shirt or fabulous pair of boots, or just treated yourself to a day to yourself with nothing to do but whatever you want.

Sure, it's easy to get all mushy and extol the virtues of Love when you're in a relationship and you're in love. But it's also just as easy to forget about the virtues of Love whether you're in a relationship or not. As someone who was just recently reminded, let me tell you--the Love in your life is powerful. Whether it's the Love of your family, your friends, your lover or yourself, it is a force to be reckoned with.

Remember the Love you have. Enjoy the warm blanky feeling you get when you think about the people who love you. Don't think about why; just enjoy it because it's true.

And then, by all means, thank them, show them you Love them back, and pass it on.

Pretty pretty princess

I bought a wedding dress today! Yay! I'm so 'cited. I'm going to be the prettiest princess who ever princessed alllll pretty. Because I CAN. In my beautiful new dress. And NO I won't post pictures, because mAc reads this. You'll just have to trust me. It's preeeeeeeeeetty.

Now for some fabulous SHOES. Squeee!

Register This

On Sunday, mAc and I registered for wedding presents. After the scanning is done and the lists have been made, I can officially say--I am Greed's bitch.

We went into this process extremely pragmatically. We've been living together for over 5 years, and even though we've hung on to a number of crappy things from college/early 20's, we've still amassed a lot. We don't need much. So we decided to only add things to the registry that we either didn't have, needed to replace, or just really, really wanted.

First up, dishes & flatware. Absolutely necessary. Then came the combo grill/griddle with removable, dishwasher-safe plates. Oh, yeah. See ya Forman! Then... well. Then shit started to get out of control...

Do we really need a special ladle for pancake batter? No. Is it super-cute and reasonably priced? Yup. Scan it.
Do we have a grill? Nope. But we should probably get a long, suede grilling mitt in a sassy color anyway for when we do. I'm not sure what I was thinking with the blue flowery tea-light holders, except that they were cute and it was really easy to picture them on the windowsill of a bathroom that we don't have yet.
Ditto the small vase with the dragonfly etched in it. The hell? I don't know. Finally, we rarely make soup that doesn't go directly from the can to the bowl to the microwave. So I'm not sure what's going on here.
If we get it, I promise to throw a dinner party featuring some kind of french onion affair.

So, yeah. It's ridiculous, but damn, was it fun. I won't lie. I actually really want that pancake batter ladle AND the matching super-wide pancake-flipping spatula that goes with it.

I just can't help feeling greedy and guilty. "But you're getting MARRIED." I know, and believe me, I am thrilled about that and agree that it's worth celebrating. But it's completely unfair that we should get so much on our special day, yet some of my favorite couples in this country can't.

You know who I'm talking about. I'm talking about Mike & David, who've been together FOREVER and have the rings, the house, the dogs, and the happiness, but no tax benefits, no legal recognition--no registry. Same goes for Joel and Todd, Kate and Monique, and Jennie and Tracey. The list goes on. It's unfair and it sucks.

I'll tell you another thing: it's economically retarded. You want to stimulate the economy? Let those boys in WeHo start having weddings. First of all, I know at least 5 guys who think that having a "beer & wine" bar at a reception is cheap and tacky--it's full bar or they aren't coming. (Good thing they're not invited to ours. *ahem*) Second, Mike & David? Are 38 and 43, respectively. You know they aren't registering at Target. Helloooo Barney's! Now factor in the new demand for Armani tuxedos, Tiffany favors and Spago appetizers, and what? What was that boom? Oh, it's the economy! Hurrah! Red pancake-batter ladles for everyone!

*sigh*

4. Remove self from pointless mailing lists

As you may recall from an earlier post, I am planning a wedding with my fiance to take place in May. I used to scour every imaginable resource - websites, magazines, Martha Stewart encyclopedias - for ideas and checklists to make sure I had everything organized. Until, that is, these supposed resources started to freak me right the hell out. Shortly after, I realized that these "helpful resources" are all part of a RACKET designed solely for the purpose of separating me and my beloved from all kinds of hard-earned cash and stressing me out.

And also? They're often stupid. For example, this came in my inbox this evening:

Dinah, with X weeks to go, don't forget to:
1. Match your veil to your hairstyle.

2. Find your wedding fragrance.

3. Keep your weight goals on track.

Except I'm not wearing a stupid veil, my fiance only likes the one fragrance I wear and thinks the rest smell like bug spray, and mind your own damn business, you evil email in league with the devil that is the weight-loss industry!

In fact, I need to call my friend Erica (also getting married) and make sure she's not freaking out either. She just went to a bridal show. Oh, the horror.

I could write a more thoughtful, in-depth essay on this whole wedding-planning racket and perhaps someday I will. But for now I'm satisfied just to post a little "take that! nyah!" in response to the email, and move forward knowing that the venue is booked, the cake & flowers are taken care of, the save the dates are out.... and anyone who says we ain't organized can cram it with walnuts. Just as long as the walnuts are tastefully served in a personalized tin with a lovely ribbon on it.

Why I'm marrying him

Me: "I printed out theknot.com's to do list. According to them, we're really behind. I'm going to go throw up now."

Him: "The Knot is full of horseshit. If we wanted to have an anal by-the-book wedding, then fine, maybe we are behind, but I call bullshit. It’s a fun event and doesn’t need FIVE MONTHS of psychotic-ness in order to happen. We’ll be totally fine."

Love.