help heal their sad hearts a little

I wasn't going to blog tonight's results show, as I'm tired and have a 4-hour-old headache and it's been a hell of a long day, and I just wanted to watch the dancing and enjoy myself.

But then I saw what Cat Deeley was wearing, and couldn't help myself. You may now take your pick from the following jokes/blog-openers:

A) It's just so nice of Cat to squeeze in her hosting duties before that swingin' key party she's clearly going to later.

B) The show opens in 1975, where Cat is delighted to find herself at the height of fashion.

C) Cat is trying hard to endear herself to women who don't possess her lean, leggy frame by wearing the world's most hideous and unflattering black and white jumpsuit ever.

D) OMG JUMPSUIT.

Okay I'm done. (And yes, I realize the hair & outfit were probably an homage, but that doesn't make a jumpsuit okay. An homage with a dress would have been much better.) We now return to our regularly scheduled spicy Latin group dance number, complete with... Wet. Wet? There are women dancing in puddles on tables, or something. It's a little over the top, y'all.

We immediately move from the group number to an announcement from Nigel and I already know what's coming, and so do you. Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson. Nigel does a nice classy job of remembering all three of them, especially Michael Jackson. And everyone in the world (especially on Twitter) is saying all there is to say about these losses and I have nothing astute to add, except that I'm already blogging so I'll just say this: Regardless of the jokes about the surgery and Neverland and whatever else we've all said or thought about MJ at some point, at the end of a man's life you find you look at the whole of it, and the fact is, that Michael Jackson irrefutably changed pop music and the world of dance for the better in his lifetime. His contributions and inspiration to fans, musicians, and dancers everywhere should indeed be celebrated, and I'm glad they're taking a moment here to do that.

Also: I was going to do this anyway this year, but now I'm more committed than ever. Who's with me?

Moving on with the show, it's results time. I predicted Karla & Jonathan, Asuka & Vitolio, and Caitlin & Jason. I also tried to vote, I honestly did, but the lines were busy, and after 10 calls I'd exhausted my inner tween girl's dialing stamina and decided to just hope for the best. As Cat reads the results, which are exactly as I predicted, I find myself smiling at her kindness again, some more, as she encourages the bottom three couples to dance their little asses off in their solos and wishes them luck. She's just the best, isn't she? Being all sweet, and then just DYING over the guest dancers? And how she says THE RAGE BOYS CREW? Love her.

Also, there is really nothing cuter than little little b-boys breaking. There just isn't. Oh, my god, y'all. So freaking rad. Super cute Cat Deeley + Super cute Rage Boys Crew is exactly what the world of dance needed tonight to help heal their sad hearts a little bit, and I just love it.

After all that it's solo time, and Asuka prances around and reminds me that I'd love it so much if the girls of the dance world could stop ending their dances with that "sexy hand sweep over the hair" bit they do. You know the one I mean. OVER IT, LADIES.

Vitolio, on the other hand, truly looks like he's dancing for his life and is amazing. A.Maz.Ing. Karla's solo is inventive and kind of fun, and I get the impression again that we're just getting to know her, and the extent of her talent.

Jonathan, I'm over. His solo is Asuka's prancing plus some acrobatics. Caitlin also pulls the acrobatic tricks out of her hat, as well as a touch of delicacy that I did not know she possessed, which is nice. And Jason's choreography impresses me again, as well as his technique. By the end of the solos, I feel like I'm still intrigued by Karla and Vitolio, I feel like Caitlin and Jason still have some growing to do, and like Asuka and Jonathan are just doing the same old same old.

While the judges deliberate, I wonder if The Veronicas used the same time machine Cat used to get her jumpsuit from 1975 to get their act from 1985. Didn't they play the prom in Valley Girl? No, wait, that was the far superior Josie Cotton. Risky move, ladies, trying pull that off with Toni Basil in the house.

A few clicks of the remote forward and it's results time. Asuka is gone, with Nigel basically saying exactly what I just said, that she's no longer growing as a dancer on the show. With the boys Nigel draws it out, and it breaks my heart to watch Jason take his critique, because all I can remember is how much he LOVES Michael Jackson--remember the little bit of him dancing to him as a cute little boy??--and how devastated he must be today, maybe even more than the other guys. But Nigel finally tells him that he's safe, tells Vitolio that he's safe, and tells Jonathan that he's leaving.

Wow. Spot-on predictions and exactly what I wanted as well. Surely they're not just pandering this week after pissing us off last week, hmm? Like I can stay mad at this show that I love anyway.

Burned out

Hey friends. Burned out on all the election shenanigans, all the blogs (mine included) that just can't let this stuff go without voicing an opinion, all the news about this crisis and that crisis and this hateful group and that stupid person and all whatever?

Natalie Portman and Rashida Jones have the answer. For all of you that are still visiting my blog despite all the political stuffs & whatnot: this is for you.

See more Natalie Portman videos at Funny or Die

Thanks for hangin' tough. I'll get back to blogging about parties & cupcakes shortly, I'm sure.

vote FOR equality

Two things in today's blog. 1) I met Amy Sedaris and 2) I am deeply concerned about a growing movement of hate, ignorance and intolerance in my state of California.

I will address the second first, and then finish off with the cute story.

Many of my dearest, most beloved friends got married this year.

Kristin & Mark


Amanda & Eyad


Anna & Ted


Ryan & Chris


I found out today that support FOR Proposition 8--a measure that would amend the California constitution to ban marriage for same sex couples--has actually grown. It's actually ahead in the polls.

I can't even believe it. I thought it would get a sound smackdown, and I'd just find myself feeling sorry for that percent of my state that is so filled with hate and fear in their hearts that they would misguidedly vote for such a measure.

The thing is, they've launched this huge advertising and grassroots campaign that claims all kinds of nonsense. They actually believe that if we allow couples like Chris and Ryan to get married, it poses some kind of threat to their values and their way of life. They've even suggested that it will somehow affect kids in school, or something? It's ridiculous.

The Huffington Post/RADAR posted a sample of this kind of outreach, along with a point-by-point response to all their ridiculous claims, so I don't really need to get into that here. The California Superintendent of Schools also did a great job of rebuffing the latest attack.

The biggest concern now, 11 days away from from the election, is making sure they have enough funds to reach the voters of California and make sure they understand that voting AGAINST Prop 8 is a vote FOR equality.

For Kristin & Mark, Amanda & Eyad, and Anna & Ted, I got them a wedding present off their registry. Ryan and Chris told us specifically, "We have too much stuff--no presents!" So instead, I'd like to do this for them: all of you who would like to protect civil rights and the right for everyone to marry in California, please donate whatever you can to No on Prop 8. You might not get a thank you card, but you will get a nice warm fuzzy knowing that you've contributed to California couples in love, who deserve the same civil rights as anyone else.

Now for the cute story: I went to a book signing for Amy Sedaris last night where she did a Q & A with the audience (always awkward, I hate them), a woman actually asked her to cut her hair (Amy: "Um. When was the last time you washed it?") and she did, and then signed copies of her fantastic book, I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence. My friend Dre was kind enough to snap a picture of us together, so I walked behind the table, stood next to her, and here's what happened next:
Dre: Wait a minute, I have to take another one, your eyes were closed.
Amy: Mine?
Dre: No, Dinah's.
Amy: Bitch.

ONLY Amy Sedaris gets to call me a bitch and make me love her even more.

How cool is that?

I was about a foot away from Joe Biden last night. I would have shook (shaken? shook. shaken?) his hand, but I was busy trying to get pictures of Alf shaking his hand, since he was kind enough to bring me along to the reception in the first place.

What it was, was a cocktail reception (with a cash bar), where Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa of Los Angeles and Mayor John Duran of West Hollywood did intros, and then Maroon 5 played.

Duran, mayor of the gayest city in the LA area, told the following joke, with three possible punchlines:
Q. What's the difference between a drag queen, and Sarah Palin?
A 1. Duct tape
A 2. Ask Cindy McCain
A 3. One is an over-dramatic clown who wears a lot of makeup and says funny things. The other is a drag queen.

All of this was just a pre-amble to Awesome. Joe Biden got up to speak (we were mere feet away), and talked about the hard work we still have to do in this election, followed by the hard work we're going to have to do to get this country back on track. And, I mean, of course, when all of our political candidates are out campaigning, they're supposed to inspire the masses. They're all going to say that America is the best country ever, and that we all have a right and a responsibility to help keep her that way. But for real, when you're standing right in front of Joe Biden, looking right into his eyes, and he tells you these things, it's amazing. And empowering, and inspiring. And it's possible that I was thisclose to the next Vice President of the United States. How cool is that???

Speaking of this work we still have to do, listen up Democrats: We need to keep reaching out to registered voters in key states like Nevada, Colorado, and New Mexico. You can find a phone bank near you, or you can make calls from home. And, I know, making calls when you know how much you hate getting them is inherently embarrassing. But, I mean, is it as embarrassing as sitting in chocolate pudding at your cousin's wedding? Is it as embarrassing as walking around with a toilet seat cover in your pants all night? And, if you knew for sure that either of those things would help bring about the change our country needs right now, wouldn't you go and sit in that pudding, and wear it proudly on your butt all day?

It's not the best metaphor ever, but, seriously, it's something small, for a potentially huge and important result. They give you a script, and if someone hangs up or cusses you out, just hang up & move on. It won't hurt you, but it could give you the chance to sway a voter, and maybe even an entire state. And how cool is THAT?

vacuous sleazebag

My news crush Keith Olbermann did it again. I love that he has the stage, has the facts, and isn't afraid to use them. I love that he can't hold back from showing us how incredulous and angry he is.


The saddest thing of all with all these Sarah Palin shenanigans is that, for some, they're kind of working. You could hear her pandering in the debate, you could hear her sidestepping questions and flinging out buzzwords. You can actually see her saying and doing the things that appeal to Americans that are scared and stupid and racist and narrow-minded, and her Gosh-darnit, heckuva Joe Six-pack, g-droppin' shtick is actually enough to hide her sleazy tactics from some of these people.

This campaign to me feels like high school all over again. On the one hand, you have the smart kid who would really love to make some changes in the school, who gets up at the school assembly and talks about how to make things better. On the other hand, you have the jackass who's running because he sees the whole thing as a popularity contest, and thinks that just being cute/funny/athletic (and calling the other guy a NERD) is enough to win... and when he sees he isn't winning, starts floating rumors that the other guy still wets the bed. It really is this ridiculous, people, and it shocks and saddens me that more people don't see through it.

In fact, I don't know who I feel more sorry for: The Republicans who are committed to voting with their party, and feel like they have to vote the McCain/Palin ticket even though they can see that the VP nominee is a vacuous sleazebag; Or the people who actually believe what she says, and think that she's doing a great job in this campaign. At least people in the first bucket are voting with a set of principles (regardless of how short-sighted and narrow minded I think they are).

The people in the last bucket are just as dumb as Palin is.

Good enough isn't good enough

Listen.

Parents, educators, friends who care about the world. We have a very important job to do, so listen up.

I'll get to it in just a second, but I'm going to start by saying: I can't take Sarah Palin anymore. And it isn't just because I disagree with her politics, and it isn't just because I find the whole, "Yeah but she's a WOMAN" thing completely insulting to intelligent women everywhere (You mean, you have girl parts? I have girl parts! You've got my vote!).

I can't even take the jokes, and believe me, they're everywhere. Check out Mac's blog, for starters.

It's because she's really, really stupid. And she's the Vice Presidential nominee. THE VICE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, PEOPLE. She has been chosen to run for the second-highest office in the free world, and she insists that living close to Russia gives her foreign policy experience.

I couldn't even watch the whole Katie Couric interview, you guys, I couldn't take it. If you missed it, find it on You Tube.

The bigger problem in all this, my friends, is that it puts on display, for the whole world to see, just how little we value intelligence and education in the United States. You could argue that W did this for eight years as well, I suppose. But what we're seeing with Palin is a whole lot of Americans who identify with her, and think it's GREAT that she shows us that "anyone can be President."

NO! No, anyone can NOT be President! This is not okay! We're talking about the highest office in our country, the highest honor in our land, one of the hardest jobs in the world! The person who holds that job should, at a bare minimum, be really, really smart! And that person's second-in-command should be able to keep up.

So you see, my problem isn't with Palin as a politician, so much as it's with the fact that she can't even discuss the economy intelligently with Katie Couric, and yet nearly 50% of the country still think she's smart enough to be a capable vice president.

I'm not arguing with those people. I'm sure there are some who'd love to comment back at me about how Obama's whatever, and that's not what this is about. We'll all vote in November and see what happens.

Here's what it is about: Parents, educators, friends who care about the world, this is a giant red flag. We have a job to do, and we need to act now. To quote Tami Taylor on Friday Night Lights, "It's my job to make sure you don't grow up stupid. It's bad for the world."

Today's kids are growing up with philosophies very different from what I experienced as a child. They're hearing, "everyone is a winner," whereas I always thought that the winners were whoever, you know, actually won. Today, kids get encouragement no matter how they perform; they're somehow entitled to gold stars just for trying. I got encouragement when I tried too, sure, but I got gold stars when I got it right. I grew up with the motto, "Good enough isn't good enough," and knew at a very young age that if I wanted to be successful, it would require a lot of hard work and learning and sacrifice. Today's kids can look at someone like Sarah Palin and think, "If she can do it, I can do it," and skate by in a world that rewards mediocrity.

Again, I say: this is not okay! We need to encourage our children to do better, work harder, be smarter. We need to reward Excellence, not whatever they churn out. Teachers, that means not coddling kids who aren't doing their work--give them bad grades, and teach them so they do better next time. Professors, that means actually teaching and encouraging critical thinking--you can't just read from the text during class and give take home/open-book tests (true story, I actually paid for that class). And, yeah, parents, that'll mean turning off the TV and taking away the cell phone and monitoring their Internet use and checking their work and doing all kinds of things that might piss them off or make them dislike us for a little while. TOO BAD. Suck it up. We're the adults, we have to do it. I know my (future) kids won't like me sometimes. That's okay. I can take it, because I know they'll thank me later. They'll thank you, too, trust me.

It is our job to make sure our children don't grow up stupid. It's bad for the world.

an Obama/Biden ticket, and a few questions

So I did some research on Barack Obama's running mate, Joe Biden. Here's what I found out:

• He's been a senator since he was 30, which is the youngest you can possibly be a senator. He was actually elected when he was 29.
• He's worked in Washington for 35 years.
• He's voted with Democrats over 96% of the time.
• He authored the Violence Against Women Act.
• He's one of the least wealthy Senators, with a net worth between $59,000 and $366,000, and commutes on the train to work every day.
  
• He's a long-time member of the Judiciary Committee and Foreign Relations Committee, and currently chairs the latter.
• Is considered by many (Democrats) to be a foreign policy expert.
• He originally voted for the War in Iraq, supported it longer than most Democrats, and is now opposed to it.
• His son is being deployed to Iraq this fall.
  
• He says things. Sometimes they are awesome. Sometimes not so much.

There are some that are calling Biden Obama's Dick Cheney: the older, more experienced VP pulling strings behind the scenes of the younger president's administration. Others are just pissed that Obama didn't choose Hillary Clinton.

Personally, I'm hoping we get some answers this week at the convention. I mean, Biden famously said that he didn't think Obama was ready to be Commander in Chief--a concern 42% of the country has as well. What does he say now, and why is he saying it? Will we get some answers behind this choice, or just sales? And what about Hillary? I honestly never expected her to be the choice, was never really convinced that she wanted the VP spot, and think it could have done the ticket more harm than good, in the end. Not that picking up all those votes wouldn't have been valuable, but she was way harder on Obama in the primaries than Biden ever was, and I don't know if some of that damage was reparable enough to put her on the ticket. Plus there's the suck-tastic reality that America just might not be ready for a ticket with both a black man and a woman on it. Which is awful to say, but these are the times and this is the country we live in. And, I mean, Vice President is not the only answer for Hillary Clinton. She is still a badass with a grand future in Washington--Secretary of State, Supreme Court Justice, people are throwing out all kinds of suggestions for her. She's not done kicking butt yet, not by long shot.

In the meantime, Democrats have an Obama/Biden ticket, and a few questions about it. Until we get some more answers/clarification, all we can do is speculate. Based on what I've read, heard and watched, it seems like the right choice for a Vice President is someone who balances the Presidential nominee. Someone whose personality is a good fit, but whose skills might fill in the blanks. I mean, that's what I do when I hire people. I look for experience that matches the job, skills that complement and balance out mine and my team's, and a personality I can get along with. I kind of like finding people that are different from me or the team, or that I might disagree with on different things, because I think it's healthy and ultimately more productive to be surrounded by people who aren't afraid to challenge the status quo. It's the different between George Lucas movies where he's surrounded by a variety of different people who are trusted to be good at what they do even when they don't have the exact same vision as him (original Star Wars trilogy), and George Lucas movies where he's only surrounded by sycophants dedicated to supporting and praising his one, singular vision (Star Wars prequels).

I digress, but the point is, you pick someone who balances you so you can do the best job possible, as a team. Presumably. So, based on preliminary research, a little speculation, and my own hiring practices, it looks like Biden was a pretty good idea.

I guess we'll see, huh?

My sources:
Wikipedia
The Washington Post
The Boston Globe
Official Joe Biden Site
YouTube
My friend kashe

all I know

I owe so many updates. Insanity reigns in my world right now, but I've tasered it and gotten a rope around its neck, and just have to get it all properly wrangled and tamed before I can get back to normal.

In the meantime, I heart Michelle Obama, and I'm watching DNC speeches all week long. That's all I know. Oh! And I don't know that much about Biden, (I'm embarrassed to say) and haven't had a chance to do my own proper research on him yet. Any scoop or suggestions on where to find scoop on him would be much appreciated!



That Obama family really couldn't be cuter.

pissing me off

HOLY. CRAP.



People say the most ignorant shit when they think they're preaching to their own tiny choir and no one else is listening.

Also pissing me off:
1. Watching O'Reilly Factor @ my gym yesterday while on elliptical (why the Y insists on Fox News is beyond me--don't they know how dreamy Anderson Cooper & Keith Olbermann are??)
2. Which featured a bit on Rush Limbaugh
3. Who laughed off a potential Clinton+Obama ticket thusly:
"Let's say it is Obama and Hillary…Let's put Hillary at the top — That's a position she's familiar with. Therefore, you've got a woman and a black for the first time ever on the Democrat ticket. Ahem. They don't have a prayer."

You know how when you're watching a movie or something set in past, and you hear the bigoted/sexist/racist shit people were saying to each other, and you think, "Wow, those old-fashioned, narrow-minded assholes sure had a lot to learn back then."

Hi, it's 2008, and clearly, they still have a lot to learn. WE still have a lot to learn.

I'd love an Obama+Clinton ticket, if only so we can elect them into office and deliver a crushing blow to ignorant assholes everywhere. And also, of course, for the joy of watching those two badasses rock the face off this country for the next eight years.

I've been cranky lately

I registered! I am officially committed to doing this triathlon sprint in Austin in June. I have so much work to do before then, OH MY GOD. Now, I am kind of scared. Holy crap.

In other non-triathlon/weight loss news, our Oscar party went swimmingly. I kind of wish it would inspire blogs like this one, but we did get some lovely thank-yous. I spent too much time on food this year, then got drunk too fast, so I didn't get to do as much socializing as I might have preferred. Such are the perils of hostessing. I'm going to start saving up now for caterers at next year's event.

Spring has sprung in Los Angeles, which means it's still cool & rainy sometimes, but mostly it's sunny and green and awesome. West Hollywood is starting to smell like jasmine & lilac, and I love it. We've started taking the dogs on these hikes up Runyon Canyon, and even though there's still a haze of pollution blanketing the city, it's still quite lovely.

In other news, that insufferable egomaniac Nader has announced he's running for President again. Really. Going to create some false dichotomies, some bullshit arguments that only you can win so you can try and look all forward-thinking and liberal without actually having to DO anything, Nader? Going to try and help jack up another election for the Democrats by trying to make some kind of "statement" again? GOD. I hate this guy, and have no respect for anyone who votes for him. Seriously. It's not like he actually wants to BE president of the United States, and he's certainly not qualified. (Foreign policy, what??) He just likes to be a pain in the ass, listen to himself talk, and get his ego stroked, and I'm over it. Well, I'm not, I hate him, but I'm just done blogging about it. For today.

If only because, I've been cranky lately. If you wanted to push my buttons & piss me off, now would be a really easy time to do it. Stuff that works really well: don't follow direction, don't stick to the schedule, don't trust me, don't listen to me, be bossy, make shit complicated that doesn't need to be complicated, and/or transform yourself into technology of some sort then stop working for no reason. So, basically, unless you're Captain Awesome or Miss Moneypenny, beware. (Mac is also in the clear, as he's been super-awesome-understanding-patient husband during this time, and I don't know how he does it but I'm sure glad I married him.) Mercury is in retrograde, I have taxes due and no idea how to do them, I've got a million reports to do, look over & fix, and I gained a rather stupid amount of weight over the Oscar weekend and it has totally bummed me out. So, cranky. And if you're reading this wondering.... Is she talking about me? Oh, probably not. Well, maybe, actually. But, you know, it's a foul mood. I'm sure I'll get over it soon.

Maybe I'll go to the garden store this weekend & get some jasmine for my yard.

I Voted

I picked a Democratic candidate that I'd like to see on the ticket in November. I picked one I'd love to see as President. I picked one that I really think will change the course of the US for the better, and motivate its citizens to participate more in their democracy. I picked the one that inspired my patriotism, after years of it laying dormant and abused by our current administration.

I don't know if it matters that I say which candidate I voted for. I think the main thing is, I Voted.

Now get out there, vote, and be heard.

random musings

Just a couple tiny little bits before I get back to focusing on my work:
- My Google news feed today is 60% Britney's latest meltdown (Standoff at the "I'm so NOT okay, y'all" Corrall), 30% Obama's upset in Iowa (and, I guess, Huckabee's as well), 10% writer's strike and, well. Nothing else. Mind you, a fair chunk of my feeds are entertainment-related, but that still seems a little out of whack to me.

- I have these "mood playlists" in my iTunes--Feeling Strummy, Feeling Positive, Feeling Chill, etc. I just created one called "Feeling Country" to hold the likes of Dolly, Patsy, Johnny & the Chicks, and it turns out? There's 10 hours of music on that list. Who knew?

- It's raining, I'm wearing a warm turtleneck sweater, comfy pants, bunny slippers, and drinking hot tea. Today's a good day to work from home in LA, and I am grateful for it.

- I'm also grateful to my mom, my sister Amy, JL, Megan, Jeff, Brett, the lovelies over at Looking Good, and everyone else who reads my blog regularly and comments. It's nice to know my random musings aren't just going out into a void, and I just want you to know I appreciate you.

- Everyone's doing their 2007 movie & music wrap-ups. I burned a lot of CDs for people throughout 2007, so I don't know if I could deliver one CD-length Best Of this year, but I suppose I could give it a shot. Even if 2007 was the year I discovered stuff I'd missed the first time around. Like, the Dixie Chicks "Godspeed (Sweet Dreams)"--how pretty is this song??

- In conclusion: SIGH. And, back to work.

about the strike, if you're curious

For more information about the strike, if you're curious, I recommend reading my friend Alf's blog. He's compiled a lot more source material than I had time to find. It's all very pro-strike, pro-writers, but there's a lot of information there.

Although, after wading through all of it, I still think that no matter what the resolution, we consumers are going to get jacked.

I'm also feeling a little bitter that support for the strike has totally outshouted support for, say, wild fire victims. I mean, people are bringing protesters so much food they're having to donate the surplus to food banks. Which is great for the food banks, but... we couldn't maybe honk at them on our way to make a donation to the Red Cross? I'm just saying.

Is this the right answer?

Everyone in LA is all up in bunches about the writers strike. I have friends closely connected to the industry here--writers, sound techs, grips, talent managers--and I am extremely sympathetic to their plight. I am also concerned for how the effects will trickle down in ways that we can't even yet imagine.

I find that people here are very quick to be sympathetic to the writers. After all, studios are raking in cash hand over fist for all these movies and TV shows, and the writers are only asking for pennies to the dollar in residuals resulting from sales in "new media" (e.g. downloads on iTunes). I've Googled the crap out of this, and am having a hard time finding the exact terms to source, but I've heard it's around $.04 for every $15.

Why so stingy, you stinking studio bastards?

Rich, high-profile writers contend that they're fighting for the little guy, the one who doesn't get a lot of writing gigs, and needs his residual checks to get him through the dry patches. They garner sympathy with movie goers and couch potatoes everywhere, saying that the only reason we're being deprived of our late night talk shows and promising new shows like Journeyman is because of studio greed.

This is all probably true. I think that, ultimately, we the consumers will suffer in entirely different ways.

I'll explain (warning: math ahead!). Let's work with my un-confirmed, yet conservative estimates of $.04 for every $15 per writer. The size of a writing staff will vary between TV and movies considerably, but for the sake of easy math I'm going to discuss TV only, and make an assumption of five writers for an average TV show. Some quick multiplication and the studios are now paying out a total of $.20 per $15 made by that one show, and netting $14.80.

These still seems unreasonably stingy, right?

My question is, what happens when this strike lays groundwork for the directors guild, and then the actors guild? Right now, none of these hard-working artists are seeing dime one from new media, and that should change, right?

The truth is both the directors guild and the actors guild contracts are also coming up soon. Terms reached in this strike WILL lay groundwork for the directors and actors.

If (when) it does, let's see how that adds up. Let's suppose a TV show is working with about 5 different directors, has 10 writers, and has a cast that includes 20 actors. Let's suppose the terms are exactly the same. Now, for every $15 made on iTunes, writers get $.40, directors get $.20, and actors get $.80, yielding a grand total of $1.40 per $15. Now the studios get $13.60. Still, a lot.

These are conservative estimates, mind you, for small shows. Late night comedy teams can be up to 15-20 people strong. The Lost cast is ridonkulously huge. Payouts for these kinds of shows could start to look like $3 - $5 per $15, making the studio net around $12 - $10.

It still doesn't seem like much. My question is, when does it stop?

I ask this question based on my experience at Ticketmaster. Everyone hates Ticketmaster, because of their so-called ridiculous, expensive fees. The truth is that there was a time, when Ticketmaster was first starting, when they were the good guys. They usurped the big bad ticketing company, Ticketron, by making an event's entire inventory available to purchase everywhere at the same time, instead of different record stores having different inventory. For this service, they charged a service fee. It was bundled into the ticket price, and no one was the wiser.

Then Pearl Jam, and the fees were broken out, and everyone got furious. What they didn't know is that all of the people involved in an event-promoting chain, like buildings and promoters, saw that little fee as their own "new media," and they wanted a piece. Ticketmaster said, fine. BUT. For every cut divied up for someone else, they needed to make up that profit elsewhere. And these entitled parties said, Fine. Pass it on to the consumer. We don't care if everyone hates you.

And ever since Ticketmaster's fees started becoming a revenue stream for all these other parties, they've started asking for bigger and bigger cuts, passing along the increase to the consumer every time. There are even buildings and promoters who now think they can provide the same service as Ticketmaster, and collect the whole fee (note: this doesn't mean the fee goes away if Ticketmaster goes away).

Back to the topic at hand. Right now, you can download Ratatouille on iTunes for $12.99. You can get 6 episodes of Reaper Season 1 for $11.94.

Presumably, a cut of this sale goes to iTunes, and a cut goes to studios. Fair. No cut goes to writers, directors, or actors. NOT fair.

I guess my question is, what happens when studios start sharing their new media profits? They'll put the squeeze to iTunes, and renegotiate that contract. Ultimately, however, every party still wants (needs?) to get their share.

And prices go up. Maybe it's $13.99 for Ratatouille and $12.94 for Reaper. Maybe it's more. Most likely, it will be more. All this before anyone really knows for sure what the market will bear.

Look. Even as I'm exploring this, I feel I must state for the record, that I do agree that $0.00 is NOT the right answer. But is squeezing the consumer at the end of the day the right answer either? Ultimately, how much do you want to pay for a movie that takes up space on your hard drive, and plays on a small screen with crappy speakers? Sure, technology will advance to keep up with new media, and mediaphiles and early adopters will upgrade, and spend more money for the convenience. We'll grumble about it--we may even learn to hate iTunes the way we despise Ticketmaster--but we'll do it.

I don't know. I don't know the answer. I think it's generally a good idea to ask questions and look at every side of the issue, but I don't really have a powerful conclusion. I don't want anyone to lose their jobs, I'm not advocating one side or the other. I'm just wondering, will the outcome of this strike kick off a slippery slope of kick-backs, and, if so, where does it end?

And will anyone in this town give a shit when Joe Consumer ends up paying for it?

We're all affected

So, yeah. Fires.

They're happening in multiple counties all over Southern California.

They're consuming wilderness, displacing wildlife, and taking homes of the rich and poor alike. They are brutal and scary. Most of the people in my immediate circle are affected in some way, even if only because they know someone who's affected in a scarier way, which is basically to say: We're all affected. We're all scared. We're all worried about those we know and love, and those we don't. Even those lucky enough not to have anyone personal to worry about, who are just watching the fires at a distance, are, like all of us, breathing pretty much the worst air quality imaginable. Los Angeles' famous smog has gone from merely gross to downright ominous.

What's killing me with this at the moment, though, is the reporting and commentary on the fires, by news stations, web sites, bloggers, you name it. I mean, uncontrollable wildfires are still scary, right? People losing their homes and all of their possessions is still tragic, right? Because it seems to me like there's a whole lot of opportunistic shenanigans afoot. Far too many people are seizing these fires as a chance to:

1. Criticize the rich & famous! Because, surely, if this is all the news is covering, they're the only ones affected. But you know, those celebs feel like they can build their fancy houses everywhere, they deserve to have their homes burn to the ground. Really, these wildfires are an appropriate measure of schadenfreude for all those people I can't quit reading about in US Weekly.

2. Kick Californians when they're down! Because we are SO STUPID to live in a place with earthquakes and fires. We should all flee California and move to a safer part of the country. Where we'd only have to worry about tornados. Or floods. Or hurricanes. Or blizzards. Or...

3. Advance our political agendas! Because clearly, these fires are punishment for those liberal, fornicating Hollywood Democrats. Except when they're no less than those rich Republicans in San Diego deserve.

4. Be superior! "Oh my GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE people are bitching about losing their Elvis Memorabilia when people in New Orleans lost their ENTIRE LIVELIHOODS because of Hurricane Katrina. I mean, I live in New York, so I'm not personally affected by either of these tragedies? But I am FULLY QUALIFIED to compare these two completely different natural disasters, boil down the affect of each based solely on what I see in the news, and judge people for feeling loss in completely different ways."

A quick Google and you'll find a myriad of examples of all of these things. It's disgusting.

The truth of the matter is simple: Fire doesn't discriminate against rich or poor, Californian or Texan, Democrat or Republican. Fire doesn't care if you're part of the famous elite, or part of the team that cleans their houses. Fire just consumes and destroys, and leaves pounds of ash in the air as it moves. It's frustrating that it even needs to be said, but seriously: the only appropriate reaction at this point is to pray, help out wherever we can, and wait until the fires have died and the air has cleared so we can all, literally, breathe easier.

Happy 4th of July

Oh, Aaron

I am sad to see you go.

Dicky Speaks

Click the link in the title for an update on what happened to Dicky on Indie 103.1. And I know my mom reads my blog and, by extension, other family members, but I can't possibly hold back when I say,

THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT.

Read the whole statement, but essentially, Dicky Barrett was fired from Indie the day he discussed abortion and made extensive pro-choice comments on the air.

Do I even NEED to add commentary?

I'm so sad.

I just found out something both sad and troubling. Dicky Barrett has been fired from the Mighty Morning Show on LA's Indie 103.1.

For those of you who don't live in Los Angeles and are wondering, "Wait. Dicky Barrett from the Mighty Mighty Bosstones was hosting a radio morning show?" Yes. Yes, he was. And doing a really amazing job.

Listening to the Mighty Morning Show with Dicky and Liz and Stacey and Chuck was like listening to your cooler-than-you older siblings talk with their cooler-than-you friends about rock music you wanted access to, movies you'd never heard of, books you hoped to read someday, politics you never thought you'd understand, and parties you desperately wanted to go to. Only, brilliantly, they did all of this in a way that was intelligent, warm, funny and totally accessible.

I especially loved their interviews. Dicky treats his guests with respect while asking exactly the kinds of questions fans would want to know, as well as many we hadn't thought of. He sold me on many a movie I otherwise hadn't even heard of.

I loved it when Liz would try to do the news. I don't know why Dicky hated the news so much, but he would never let her just get straight through it. He'd mock the news and Liz herself without mercy, and Liz, bless her, would just power straight through. They perfectly captured the "we're siblings and we bug each other but really we totally love each other" vibe. It was awesome.

And, of course, I loved it when Dicky would tell stories. He'd regale his coworkers and, by extension, us listeners, with stories about his mom or his band or how he and Pavarotti once selected the same flavor of pie. It sounds so mundane, but his delivery is just so charming.

I could go on. I've been known to sit with my friends and just talk and talk about how much we love listening to the Mighty Morning Show. I once spent a good 45 minutes explaining to my husband why I think Dicky does better interviews than anyone else on the radio. I actually sent the show a love letter of sorts on Valentine's Day, because mAc and I once met Dicky and it was a cute story and I thought they'd get a kick out of it. And they did. They sent me a thank you.

So what went wrong? Well, I'm looking into it. So far, this is what I know, from hitsdailydouble.com.

Influential L.A. radio station Indie 103.1, the English-language alternative outlet owned by leading Hispanic broadcast company Entravision, has fired its morning show host, the Mighty Mighty Bosstones' Dicky Barrett, who has been off the air for the past three days. His spokesperson reports that his "unexplained disappearance comes just a few days after the station's powers-that-be called him into their office and told him to refrain from making any political or controversial comments on the air."

L.A. Indie 103.1 station GM Dawn Girocco on the firing of morning man Dicky Barrett: "We have been working with Dicky for the past five months trying to get the show to the next level.. We invested a lot into not only the show, but in promoting and coaching him. Unfortunately it takes a lot of work to build and grow a morning show as well as develop interesting, compelling content. This was not Dicky's priority, as he had other commitments with Jimmy Kimmel Live, which was, in his words, 'his bread and butter.' Everyone at Indie has a tremendous commitment to the station and to the audience. We need to have a morning show that is able to make Indie their #1 priority. We wish Dicky the best in the future and appreciate his contributions to the station."

Former Indie 103.1 morning show host Dicky Barrett gives his side of his firing by Entravision from the influential L.A. station: "Jimmy Kimmel is a great guy who supported the Mighty Morning Show, and loved it, even though he helped to build the Kevin and Bean Show on KROQ and is the Producer of the Adam Carolla Morning Radio Show. The man hired to 'coach' me in 'trying to get the show to the next level',' Dan Kieley, said: 'Dicky is a true talent and a radio star' and 'It's a great Morning Show'.' I was fired for being unwilling to be, in Dawn Girocco's words 'more mainstream.' It was a great morning show. It is unfair to let people think I walked away to put more work into loudly reading 20-30 words a night on Jimmy's TV show. I worked hard on the Mighty Morning Show. I along with Stacey, Chuck and Liz, built and grew it to what it was. You could count on it (for the most part) to provide you with interesting, compelling content and better music then any other show on the air in the morning."

I checked Indie's web site to see if they had anything on the Mighty Morning Show's page. It's...not even there anymore. Other sites have some additional bits & pieces, and LAVoice.org is also looking into it pretty thoroughly. One comment in particular said that Dicky was fired because he wanted to play the music he wanted, and was in a fight with Girocco, so she fired him. (Until an official spokesperson says it, however, I'm counting it as "unconfirmed" but will keep you posted.)

I'm so sad. And, in truth, I don't know what makes me sadder--the idea that he was fired after making "political and controversial comments" or the fact that he's just not going to be on the air in the morning anymore. Actually, I'm pretty sure it's the latter. The idea that he got fired for saying the wrong thing mostly just really pisses me off.

It's a discussion for another time, as this entry is already really long and I'm in mourning, but what, specifically, did he say? How "bad" was it? Why was he fired, and not fined? What happened to free speech? How does someone get fired for talking, when they were essentially hired to talk? And, seriously, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN OUR COUNTRY AND WHEN ARE WE GOING TO START PAYING ATTENTION AND FIGHTING BACK, PEOPLE?!?!?

Further, political rage aside, why is a radio station whose name is "Indie" trying to coach someone on how to be more mainstream? Counterintuitive much? Oh, no, wait. That's just your basic flat-out bullshit.

Dicky, I'm so sorry you're gone. If I could, I'd put you back on the air right now, and I hope that someone figures out a way to do just that. In the meantime, I want you and the rest of the crew to know that you were truly Great, and you will be missed.

punk rock sanctuary

Attention rock and rollers: if you haven't been yet, you have until next Halloween to get yourself to the original CBGB in New York. After a long battle between landlord and club owner, the club was given a last-minute reprieve, and granted a 1-year extension.

In case you're not familiar, CBGB is not just some random letters splayed across the faux-vintage t-shirts of wanna-be hipsters everywhere. The club, who's name actually stands for "Country Blue-Grass Blues" played host and witness to the American punk and new wave movements in the 1970's and 80's. It was instrumental in uplifting the careers of Puffpiece favorites like The Ramones, Patti Smith, Blondie, Talking Heads, and more. It was a punk rock sanctuary in a disco-saturated New York.

Today, it continues its tradition of booking up-and-coming, little-known acts that can only otherwise be found listed among indie scenesters' myspace friends. And it will continue to do so for just under a year at its original address.

Personally, I've never been to CBGB and I find it makes me very sad. I've only ever spent four days in New York in my life, and while I really wanted to check it out, we had a million other things to do while we were there as well. Here's hoping I can get out to CBGB in 2006 before it moves, and here's hoping you'll see me there.