my train of thought

If you climb aboard my train of thought, it would take you through a Twilight Zone of easy distractions and OCD, arriving at the Bermuda Triangle of my mind also known as, "What the hell did I come in here for? Wait, what am I doing?"

It started with a staffing memo for this Talk Like a Pirate Day event at the El Cap tonight, on which the attire was described as "Pirate Chic." I realized that I had the velvet blazer and boots for just such an occasion, and all I needed was to find one of my pairs of hoop earrings. (Obviously, "pirate chic" = hoop earrings.)

So I went into the bathroom to find them. I started pawing through all my cupboards and drawers, only to get frustrated at the overwhelming clutter and piles of products promising to make me prettier, smoother, more relaxed, and, ultimately, happier. I started pulling everything out, throwing things away, and putting items back in a more orderly fashion. "There," I thought, "That's much better."

I was about halfway through this non-hoop-earring-related project when I started coming across bags and piles of travel-sized beauty products--shampoos, lotions, mouthwash, you name it. Many of them from hotels, many from those cute bags you get people as gifts that are filled with liquid delights scented in lavender, ginger or vanilla. (I also found about 10 of those cute little travel bags stashed in various places.) I'm an easy mark when it comes to gifts. Do I like beauty products and things that smell nice and come in miniature, darling packages? Oh, yes, I certainly do.

Do I need any more of these thoughtful gifts?


No, indeed. I do not.

Naturally, after pulling out all these travel products to see what can be emptied & recycled, and seeing the overwhelming mass of tiny promises on my sink, I immediately stopped what I was doing, got my camera, took a picture, transferred it to my computer, cropped my reflection out of the mirror, uploaded it, and started writing this blog. Leaving the mess on the bathroom sink.

Ladies and gentlemen, you have now reached your destination of, "What the hell did I come in here for? Wait, what am I doing?" Please detrain as quickly as possible, before we depart on another sidetrack and go completely off the rails.