Monday, February 11, 2008

HAPPY STORY/SAD STORY

HAPPY STORY TIME!
What I really want to write about today is how I registered for my triathlon over the weekend, and am super ready to go. Unfortunately, registration isn't open yet. Registration for the first city they opened up closed in just a few hours, so now I'm super nervous about getting shut out. Think positive registration thoughts for me, would you? Thank you, I really appreciate it.

That said, I'm proceeding as though I'm already registered/committed. Since announcing my commitment to this endeavor on January 30, I've started working out about five times a week. Mostly I work on my running, since I can still only jog in short bursts. I've also taken the dogs on a hike through Runyon Canyon with one of my employees, looked extensively at bikes, and gone swimming once. (Note: me trying to put on a swim cap for the first time = PURE COMEDY. Very Mrs. Bean.) I didn't work out yesterday and, even though it was probably good for my body to take a day off, I missed it. I've become obsessed with the exercise. I even bought a book about training for triathlons.

Oh, and I've also lost about 3 lbs, bringing my total weight loss for 2008 so far to almost 10 lbs. I'm so close to 10 lbs lost, in fact, that I'm already plotting out how I'm going to run the gauntlet of Valentine's meals/treats and client lunches this week. Because, I'm going to eat the truffles and the petite filet and drink the champagne. So, I make sure I'm doing 60 minutes of cardio every day instead of my average of 45.

Yeah, I don't know what alien took over my mind & body either.

SAD STORY TIME.
In unrelated news, I went to see In Bruges yesterday, which was ridiculous and wrong and surprisingly gory and funny as hell. I went to the bathroom before it started, and as I walked into my stall, I heard a young woman saying, loudly,

"Oh my god, do you think anyone will know I'm bulimic??"

And my stall door shut. I think we both realized we were in adjacent stalls at the same time, and she freaked out.

"Oh my god, IS SOMEONE ELSE IN HERE??"

Her friends responded, essentially, yeah, numnuts, it's public bathroom and you're not alone in here with your stupid eating disorder.

So she proceeded to throw up her lunch anyway.

There's really no sound more depressing than that of a young woman wretching and forcing out her lunch in the stall next to you.

I tried to finish quickly so I could avoid her at the sinks. At the same time, I wondered what I would say to her if I did have the chance. I came up with the following:
"You can't just go to the gym like the rest of us?"

"Oh yeah, bulimia's hot. Except for the swollen glands, the hair falling out, the chronic bad breath, the rotting teeth and that pesky little risk of STOPPING YOUR HEART. Dumbass."

And the meanest of all,
"You better keep it up, girl, or you could end up looking like me."

1 comment:

- The M.A.D. Hapa said...

Oh DUDE. The bulimia encounter is so bizarre. I like the, "why don't you go to the gym like the rest of us" response.

This doesn't one-up your story, but here's another WTF bathroom encounter:

I was at this strip club in Hawaii (long story) and I went to go pee. I walked in and right next to the door is a trash can - with a diaper wrapper in it. I don't know what explanation is less depressing: did a customer bring her baby to the strip club or was it an employee's kid?

Ah . . . our modern world.