shenanigans

VEGAS, BABY: PART 1

I LOVE Vegas Week on So You Think You Can Dance. It’s like the whole season boiled down to 2 hours of hardcore, intense dancing and choreography, and RUTHLESS cutting. Ideally, by the time the judges arrive at a Top 20 they’ve got a crème de la crème of dancers, and if there’s any erroneous picks (ahem, Susie), then we the viewers can just vote ‘em away next week. It’s all about Excellence and there’s no room for any shenanigans whatsoever.

Or at least, that’s what I was thinking when this episode started.

About halfway through I was calling shenanigans all over the damn place, but we’ll get to that in a bit. The show kicks off with Alex Wong, who is HOLY BUCKETS OF AMAZING. Strong, precise, musical and those push-up/splits thingies he did at the end blew my mind, and the judges’. The next guy is all comedy and no dance. Yawn. Then, after a montage of Amazing! Dancing! (Yay!!!) the judges get right to the ruthless cutting. YES. DO IT. EXCELLENCE ONLY PLEASE.

Next it’s hip hop to the Black Eyed Peas “Boom Boom Pow” which was promptly purchased by me and dropped into my workout playlist because this show is how I get all my fun summer dance music. That Gaby Rojas the judges are all sprung over is a MESS. It’s so awful and hard to watch. But because Nigel doesn’t like to be wrong, she gets to stay.

Then the dancers try to get through the jazz round with Sonya, and we’re treated to clips from Brandon and Natalie’s solos from Denver. The two of them also perform as Sonya’s examples during rehearsal. The two BFFs are clearly extremely comfortable dancing together, and they attack the number with precision and style and it’s awesome. But then, when Natalie dances with a different partner during the audition, it’s lackluster and stiff. Whether because of nerves or switching partners or whatever, she just lost it, and is cut. Sad, but fair.

Brandon’s jazz audition is, I think, fantastic. Mia & Lil C are not at all impressed and they rip him a new one, but Nigel sticks up for him so he gets to stay.

But then Gaby Rojas does her jazz audition and it sucks almost as much as her hip hop. It’s also worth noting at this point that it is also MUCH WORSE than Natalie’s jazz audition. But they let her dance for her life, so of course her pre-prepared solo that she’s had however many months or whatever to rehearse is wonderful. And while I’m sitting on my couch going, “Yeah, but isn’t learning a variety of different kinds of choreography quickly—which she clearly can’t do at all—kind of, I don’t know, INHERENT TO THE VERY PREMISE OF THE SHOW?!?”, they let her stay.

Shenanigans.

Now it’s time for the group choreography project. This endeavor is a disaster every year, and a great way to identify Drama Queen jackasses and eliminate people en masse. At this point I’m hoping that pageant girl with the ginormous chin is finally cut. You know the one I mean. I’ve just started calling her Chin Implant.

And the crappy dancing and ruthless cutting begins. Like, there’s a montage of what I’m sure the judges were just thinking was total bullshit. The “Nerdography” bit was admittedly extremely cute, well rehearsed, and well-performed.

When Mia’s choreography starts, we’re supposed to care about some girl who dances with her mouth open, and she’s allowed to stay but her sister is cut because she can’t dance with her group/to the music or do a solo better than your average football cheerleader. Psych. They let both sisters through and I call shenanigans.

At this point, Mac notes how he loves how gleefully the judges drag out the verdicts and just torture the dancers. I note that just want Day 3 to be over so these fools will get some sleep and stop freaking crying.

Tasty Oreo shows up and I appreciate him just so much more as a choreographer than as a catty judge. We see a snip of him dancing and it makes me want to see more. Instead we see all the girls try & keep up with “America” from West Side Story, some more successfully than others. Gaby is finally cut, as well as that Priscilla girl I didn’t love and the mouth breather. Chin Implant is still around, however, which doesn’t bode well. The guys dance to “Cool” next, which is just fast and crazy. Again, some successfully, others way not, and the judges ruthlessly cut them. They’re down to 16 each girls and guys, with 12 more cuts before we get a Top 20. The montage of the best of the best 32’s solos is, of course, amazing, and now I’m going to have to stay up even later to see the results. Damn.