Thursday, November 18, 2004

Nice Pear

I don't even know how to start, I'm so gobsmacked. Reading about the "Secret Fitness Secrets of the Stars" this morning over coffee, I made a startling discovery. According to the article, Heidi Klum is pear-shaped.

One more time. This woman?

The supermodel with the perfect body strutting her goodies in some pricey Vicky's on the catwalk? Is shaped like this:

I don't even know what to say. Of course I shouldn't read articles like that in the first place, because they feed the whole, "I'm too fat, I need to exercise, I wish I were thin like a celebrity but I could really go for some buttered toast for breakfast except I'm going to SKIP breakfast and read this article in an attempt to magically melt the fat off my thighs so that later I can eat some cookies--oh shit, there went the toast AND the cookies now I'm REALLY fat" cycle. But then to find out that a gorgeous woman like Heidi Klum is still being told she needs to do some extra squats? Yes, because she rocketed to the level of supermodel despite her grotesque figure. Really, I'm surprised they even let a lardass like that get in front of a camera.

And people wonder why Mary Kate has a problem.

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