Tuesday, January 11, 2005

4. Remove self from pointless mailing lists

As you may recall from an earlier post, I am planning a wedding with my fiance to take place in May. I used to scour every imaginable resource - websites, magazines, Martha Stewart encyclopedias - for ideas and checklists to make sure I had everything organized. Until, that is, these supposed resources started to freak me right the hell out. Shortly after, I realized that these "helpful resources" are all part of a RACKET designed solely for the purpose of separating me and my beloved from all kinds of hard-earned cash and stressing me out.

And also? They're often stupid. For example, this came in my inbox this evening:

Dinah, with X weeks to go, don't forget to:
1. Match your veil to your hairstyle.

2. Find your wedding fragrance.

3. Keep your weight goals on track.

Except I'm not wearing a stupid veil, my fiance only likes the one fragrance I wear and thinks the rest smell like bug spray, and mind your own damn business, you evil email in league with the devil that is the weight-loss industry!

In fact, I need to call my friend Erica (also getting married) and make sure she's not freaking out either. She just went to a bridal show. Oh, the horror.

I could write a more thoughtful, in-depth essay on this whole wedding-planning racket and perhaps someday I will. But for now I'm satisfied just to post a little "take that! nyah!" in response to the email, and move forward knowing that the venue is booked, the cake & flowers are taken care of, the save the dates are out.... and anyone who says we ain't organized can cram it with walnuts. Just as long as the walnuts are tastefully served in a personalized tin with a lovely ribbon on it.

No comments: