Wednesday, February 09, 2005

And by the way?

What is the deal with people misspelling my name when they're sending me an email? You have my email address, it clearly says "dinah" right in the fucking address. Are you lazy? 5 letters too much for you? Just too busy, perhaps? Only time for a d-i-n-a, no time for an h? Or maybe you think that I have chosen to misspell my name, and you'd like to take this opportunity to correct me. Well you know what, buddy? Don't. It's Dinah. It's not that hard. "Someone's in the kitchen with" ring a bell? And, no, don't start singing. Believe me, I've heard it. (And if "Dinah won't you..." comes out of your mouth, I will pop you. I won't, you're a pervert, and the song's about a train. Ass.)

Furthermore, I would like to add for the benefit of people taking my name over the phone: when I spell D-i-n-a-h, that does not directly translate to D-i-a-n-a, no matter how hard you try. I know, Dinah is kind of unusual, Diana would be easier for you ,and hey, Diana's Wonder Woman. I totally get the appeal. But dude? Not my name.

Nor, by the way, is it any of the following: Dana, Donna, Diane, or Deena. I know, that 'I' in the middle of the name is sooo confusing. And maybe some women pronounce it differently, but if you call me Deena and I correct you? Please don't do it again, or I will be forced to hate you forever for being STUPID.

Finally, for anyone still confused, I present to you Dinah's in History:
Dinah Shore, 40's big band soloist, 70's talk show host.

Dinah Washington, gritty jazz & blues singer of 40's & 50's.

Dinah Manoff, barely famous for roles as Marty in Grease and as a daughter on "Empty Nest."

Dinah the Cat, from Alice in Wonderland.

And my personal favorite,
Dinah Lance, aka The Black Canary.

Mispronounce her name? She'll make your ears bleed and kick your ass.

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