Thursday, February 10, 2005

No. Just, no.

ABC's "Blind Justice"
"New York Detective Jim Dunbar, [<--why is that comma there?] was blinded in a shootout when his partner failed to cover him. He could have retired with a full pension after his injury, but instead fought to remain on the job, determined to prove he still has what it takes and be an asset. Now, following his reinstatement, he is assigned to a new precinct where he intends to take on cases with the help of his guide dog, Hank.
[It's Daredevil & Hooch! You think Matt Murdock's cane was a cool weapon, wait til you see what Hank can do!]

On his first day back on the job, he meets Detectives Tom Selway (Reno Wilson) and Marty Russo (Frank Grillo), both hardboiled New York cops. [Hardboiled! Grrrrr! Take that Chow Yun Fat!] Russo is especially skeptical at the outset, bent on humiliating Dunbar and seeing him fail. [Because humiliating and destroying the blind is fun, kids! Just, you know, watch out for Hank.] In addition [there's more?!], there's Karen Bettancourt (Marisol Nichols), a Homicide detective who's been working with Selway and Russo for eight months on a serial murder case.

Though all the detectives are impressed by Dunbar's heroism, demonstrated during the events that led to his being blinded [thanks for explaining when that heroism was, I totally forgot it from 2 paragraphs ago], they are angry he has returned and incredulous at his belief that he can still work the streets and carry a loaded gun [I can't imagine why. "Hey, man, bad guy's over the--OW! My ass! You bastard!"]. Bettancourt in particular has reservations, which are compounded by the knowledge of Dunbar's past affair with her friend [Ooh! A completely necessary complication to this not-at-all contrived and convoluted premise. Rock]. As a result, when Lieutenant Fisk (Michael Gaston) - who [after smoking a particularly large vial of CRACK] reluctantly agreed to give Dunbar a chance to prove himself - partners him with Bettancourt, she is furious [furious I tell you!].

Dunbar's wife, Christie (Rena Sofer) has stuck by him throughout his debilitating ordeal and supports him in his moment of need [because, really, no one wants to be the bitch that left her newly-blind husband]. However she has doubts about their marriage [bitch!] based on Dunbar's past infidelities [oh, right], and begins to question why she stays [see above, re: bitch], noting his tendency to take her for granted [well, naturally. Why should he appreciate the woman who stuck by him when he cheated and takes care of his newly-blind ass? Especially now that he has Hooch. I mean Hank]."

This might be the most preposterous premise I have ever heard of in my entire life, and I actually watched an episode of Bachelorettes in Alaska. Besides which, it's totally insulting--to the good people in the law enforcement community who protect and serve; to the blind, who I'm guessing don't love being turned into a fucking novelty by a show claiming to have some basis in reality (as opposed to a comic book universe, say); and finally to anyone with a lick of intelligence. I mean? No. Just, no.

1 comment:

Genny said...

Oh man, I keep seeing ads for this... and it's like, "what?" CLive Owen was in a British show about a detective who was losing his sight, but he was not completely and totally blind. I inexplicably love Ron Eldard (simply because of "Drop Dead Fred"), but please... come on... It's a train wreck. A horribly insulting, preposterous train wreck.