THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

Anyone else feel a seismic shift in the planet last night? Walk through a rift in the space/time continuum, perhaps? Fall backwards when the earth tilted slowly on its axis, throwing your world all ass up for a minute? No? Just me then?

I met another Dinah last night. For the first time in my life EVER.

This might not seem like a big deal to anyone but me, but I've been walking around for almost 31 years feeling extremely unique. I love my name, but it's unusual. People mess it up all the time because they're not used to hearing it, and if they are familiar with my name it's because they know another woman named Dinah who, by the way, is 82. It's old-fashioned and uncommon, and doesn't even register in the top 1,000 US names except for a little while in the 50's. Which, honestly, I always thought was kind of awesome.

That said, I've always been very curious to meet another Dinah, just to see what she's like. And last night, standing in line to see Superman Returns (which is super fun, by the way), I did. Just as casual as you please, mAc and I met the group that our friend Mike had brought with him: "Hi, I'm Ted, I'm Brian, this is Anya, I'm Abby, I'm Dinah." Wait, what? REALLY? Spelled the same and everything? Wooooooooooooooow..........

At first we bonded over things only a Dinah can share: "Do people mispronounce your name all the time?" "Dude, totally: Diana, Deena, Donna..." "...Dana, Diabla..." "Diabla???" "Yeah." "Wow, the worst I ever got was Diamond!" Followed up with, "Have you ever searched for other Dinahs on MySpace? They're all..." "ASIAN! I KNOW! What is that??"

After that, however, we were done. Dinah was not as impressed with this unique coincidence or, quite frankly, as friendly as I hoped she'd be.

She's also 1 inch taller than me (at 5'11"), at least 30 lbs lighter (bitch!), and ridiculously pretty (BITCH!). She used to model. Ultimately, instead of being cool and delighted and fun or whatever I hoped Dinah would be when I finally met her, it turned out she was just another skinny LA model with a pretty face and an aloof attitude. After my mind stopped being totally BLOWN, I just felt disappointed and jealous and unsure of what I should do with this experience moving forward.

And then it came to me. Clearly, the only thing TO do is hunt her down, decapitate her with a medieval sword, and absorb her power. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!