Um, Mom?

Dinah to Mom Sep 26
Subject: Um, Mom?

Hi! I hope you and Dad have been having a fun time on your Minnesotan vacation. I just wanted to say hello, plus I need to update my blog with a "What I did on my Australian vacation" post, and I wanted to give you a heads up about something first.

I got a tattoo.

It's really pretty! It's kind of inspired by you, actually, although I don't know if that makes you feel any better about it. It's a lily design, originally sketched by my favorite, Alphonse Mucha. I found it in a book I bought in Prague, it's on one of his "Documents Decoratifs" plates. It kind of reminds me of the big stargazer lilies you picked out for our wedding arrangements. Did I mention it's really pretty?

It's also pretty big, and on my back where you can't see it if I'm wearing a top with a high neckline, but you can totally see it if my upper back is at all exposed.

So, I love it. I've always wanted a tattoo, and now I have one and it's beautiful. I know I don't need your permission or approval for these things at my age. I just wanted to let you know I did it before I posted it to my blog and you saw the pictures and freaked right the hell out.

You might be freaking out anyway, but hey, it could be worse. You could be mAc's mom--he got his 10th. :)

We'll be in Denver next month for Jeremy's wedding, so you can see it then. I love you! Hope you & Dad are doing well!
oxox
D

Mom to me Sep 29
Subject: Uh, Dinah...

HI! Thanks for the Warning!!!! I might have been shocked, so I appreciate the pre-information. It was probably just a matter of time what with you being married to a walking art gallery. Isn't he running out of room for more body art? How big is BIG? I mean the lily...I guess I'll find out soon.

Dad and I had a really good time on our trip. I'm looking forward to seeing you guys (and your new embellishment). You know, our next trip will be to see you, but I don't know when that will be either. We'll talk.
Love you, Mom

CONCLUSION: MOM = AWESOME
p.s.
Yes. It really hurt.

Ace

How to speak Australian:

G'day! = Hello! Yes, they really do greet each other like this. It's not common, but it's really cute.
How you going? = How you doing + how's it going. Charming!
Aggro = Overly aggressive.
"Crack the shits," or "Crack it" for short = Pitch a fit, throw a tantrum. "By the end of that long march around Sydney I almost cracked it."
Skull = Chug, or slam, as in the beer in your hand. "Seriously dude, we're all ready to go. Skull it."
BYO = The sign a restaurant will hang in the window if they're not licensed to serve you booze, but you can bring your own.
Good on ya! = Good for you! Well done!
Runners = Sneakers, tennis shoes, trainers.
Brekky = Breakfast, only cuter.
Lippy = Lipstick. "A bit o' lippy and I'll be ready to go."
Dunny = Port-a-potty. Also, the subject of the awesome new Aussie film, Kenny.
Lolly = Candy, not just suckers. Also seen: Confectionary.
Uni = University, as in, "When I was at uni..."
Sunnies = Sunglasses. Picked up on a theme with the nicknames yet?
Daggy = Dorky, seriously uncool. As in, "Why am I such a dag?"
Dickhead = An idiot; Jackass.
Wazz = Wizz. Pee. Also the subject of Kenny. (But, again, it's really funny and I recommend it!)
Tart fuel = Vodka cruisers, fruity pastel-colored sugar & vodka concoctions served in 4-packs.
Bogan = A yokel, white trash. Typically sports a mullet, has at least one car up on blocks in the front yard.
Stubby holder = can coozie, styrofoam beer holder.
Bottle shop = The liquor store, as in "I'll just pop round the bottle shop and grab a slab of VB."
Slab = Case of 24 beers in a flat rectangular box.
VB = Victoria Bitter, yummy Australian beer.
Milk bar = Corner store with takeaway food.
Takeaway = To go, or takeout.
Yummo! or Yum Yum Pig's Bum! = Mmm, delicious!
Ginger = Prounced with hard G's, "geengah." A person with red hair.
No worries = No problem, forget about it.
Pashing = Making out.
I reckon = I figure, I imagine, I guess... it's not as "rednecky" sounding here in Oz as it is in the states. Here it's a common figure of speech: "I reckon I ought to wrap this up if we're going to get to the tattoo place on time."

Ace = The best, tops, awesome, brilliant. Everyone we've met since we've been here. I'm in love. I mean, I'm kind of ready to come home and hug my dogs and sleep in my own bed and enjoy the end of summer heat and, like, detox after all the food and drink and all that, but I'd like to bring all of our friends with us. They're ACE.