Burned out

Hey friends. Burned out on all the election shenanigans, all the blogs (mine included) that just can't let this stuff go without voicing an opinion, all the news about this crisis and that crisis and this hateful group and that stupid person and all whatever?

Natalie Portman and Rashida Jones have the answer. For all of you that are still visiting my blog despite all the political stuffs & whatnot: this is for you.

See more Natalie Portman videos at Funny or Die

Thanks for hangin' tough. I'll get back to blogging about parties & cupcakes shortly, I'm sure.

vote FOR equality

Two things in today's blog. 1) I met Amy Sedaris and 2) I am deeply concerned about a growing movement of hate, ignorance and intolerance in my state of California.

I will address the second first, and then finish off with the cute story.

Many of my dearest, most beloved friends got married this year.

Kristin & Mark


Amanda & Eyad


Anna & Ted


Ryan & Chris


I found out today that support FOR Proposition 8--a measure that would amend the California constitution to ban marriage for same sex couples--has actually grown. It's actually ahead in the polls.

I can't even believe it. I thought it would get a sound smackdown, and I'd just find myself feeling sorry for that percent of my state that is so filled with hate and fear in their hearts that they would misguidedly vote for such a measure.

The thing is, they've launched this huge advertising and grassroots campaign that claims all kinds of nonsense. They actually believe that if we allow couples like Chris and Ryan to get married, it poses some kind of threat to their values and their way of life. They've even suggested that it will somehow affect kids in school, or something? It's ridiculous.

The Huffington Post/RADAR posted a sample of this kind of outreach, along with a point-by-point response to all their ridiculous claims, so I don't really need to get into that here. The California Superintendent of Schools also did a great job of rebuffing the latest attack.

The biggest concern now, 11 days away from from the election, is making sure they have enough funds to reach the voters of California and make sure they understand that voting AGAINST Prop 8 is a vote FOR equality.

For Kristin & Mark, Amanda & Eyad, and Anna & Ted, I got them a wedding present off their registry. Ryan and Chris told us specifically, "We have too much stuff--no presents!" So instead, I'd like to do this for them: all of you who would like to protect civil rights and the right for everyone to marry in California, please donate whatever you can to No on Prop 8. You might not get a thank you card, but you will get a nice warm fuzzy knowing that you've contributed to California couples in love, who deserve the same civil rights as anyone else.

Now for the cute story: I went to a book signing for Amy Sedaris last night where she did a Q & A with the audience (always awkward, I hate them), a woman actually asked her to cut her hair (Amy: "Um. When was the last time you washed it?") and she did, and then signed copies of her fantastic book, I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence. My friend Dre was kind enough to snap a picture of us together, so I walked behind the table, stood next to her, and here's what happened next:
Dre: Wait a minute, I have to take another one, your eyes were closed.
Amy: Mine?
Dre: No, Dinah's.
Amy: Bitch.

ONLY Amy Sedaris gets to call me a bitch and make me love her even more.

Hi, I need a loving home!

Hi, I need a loving home!
Originally uploaded by puffpiece

If you know of ANYONE in the LA area who could help find a home for this gorgeous dog, please let me know! He's a stray living in the streets in my friends' neighborhood. He seems like he was someone's pet--well mannered, docile, nice-tempered--but has been abandoned. They suspect he's the victim of a recent forclosure, actually. It's too sad. Any help you could provide would be appreciated!!

How cool is that?

I was about a foot away from Joe Biden last night. I would have shook (shaken? shook. shaken?) his hand, but I was busy trying to get pictures of Alf shaking his hand, since he was kind enough to bring me along to the reception in the first place.

What it was, was a cocktail reception (with a cash bar), where Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa of Los Angeles and Mayor John Duran of West Hollywood did intros, and then Maroon 5 played.

Duran, mayor of the gayest city in the LA area, told the following joke, with three possible punchlines:
Q. What's the difference between a drag queen, and Sarah Palin?
A 1. Duct tape
A 2. Ask Cindy McCain
A 3. One is an over-dramatic clown who wears a lot of makeup and says funny things. The other is a drag queen.

All of this was just a pre-amble to Awesome. Joe Biden got up to speak (we were mere feet away), and talked about the hard work we still have to do in this election, followed by the hard work we're going to have to do to get this country back on track. And, I mean, of course, when all of our political candidates are out campaigning, they're supposed to inspire the masses. They're all going to say that America is the best country ever, and that we all have a right and a responsibility to help keep her that way. But for real, when you're standing right in front of Joe Biden, looking right into his eyes, and he tells you these things, it's amazing. And empowering, and inspiring. And it's possible that I was thisclose to the next Vice President of the United States. How cool is that???

Speaking of this work we still have to do, listen up Democrats: We need to keep reaching out to registered voters in key states like Nevada, Colorado, and New Mexico. You can find a phone bank near you, or you can make calls from home. And, I know, making calls when you know how much you hate getting them is inherently embarrassing. But, I mean, is it as embarrassing as sitting in chocolate pudding at your cousin's wedding? Is it as embarrassing as walking around with a toilet seat cover in your pants all night? And, if you knew for sure that either of those things would help bring about the change our country needs right now, wouldn't you go and sit in that pudding, and wear it proudly on your butt all day?

It's not the best metaphor ever, but, seriously, it's something small, for a potentially huge and important result. They give you a script, and if someone hangs up or cusses you out, just hang up & move on. It won't hurt you, but it could give you the chance to sway a voter, and maybe even an entire state. And how cool is THAT?

Boop boop be doop!

I think I expected to be Audrey or Katherine or maybe some other Hepburn, but based on the description, I think Marilyn is actually pretty spot on. Boop boop be doop!

Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz...

You Are a Marilyn!

You are a Marilyn -- "I am affectionate and skeptical."

Marilyns are responsible, trustworthy, and value loyalty to family, friends, groups, and causes. Their personalities range broadly from reserved and timid to outspoken and confrontative.

How to Get Along with Me

• * Be direct and clear


• * Listen to me carefully


• * Don't judge me for my anxiety


• * Work things through with me


• * Reassure me that everything is OK between us


• * Laugh and make jokes with me


• * Gently push me toward new experiences


• * Try not to overreact to my overreacting.

What I Like About Being a Marilyn

• * being committed and faithful to family and friends


• * being responsible and hardworking


• * being compassionate toward others


• * having intellect and wit


• * being a nonconformist


• * confronting danger bravely


• * being direct and assertive

What's Hard About Being a Marilyn

• * the constant push and pull involved in trying to make up my mind


• * procrastinating because of fear of failure; having little confidence in myself


• * fearing being abandoned or taken advantage of


• * exhausting myself by worrying and scanning for danger


• * wishing I had a rule book at work so I could do everything right


• * being too critical of myself when I haven't lived up to my expectations

Marilyns as Children Often

• * are friendly, likable, and dependable, and/or sarcastic, bossy, and stubborn


• * are anxious and hypervigilant; anticipate danger


• * form a team of "us against them" with a best friend or parent


• * look to groups or authorities to protect them and/or question authority and rebel


• * are neglected or abused, come from unpredictable or alcoholic families, and/or take on the fearfulness of an overly anxious parent

Marilyns as Parents

• * are often loving, nurturing, and have a strong sense of duty


• * are sometimes reluctant to give their children independence


• * worry more than most that their children will get hurt


• * sometimes have trouble saying no and setting boundaries

Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz at HelloQuizzy

PURE DELIGHT

On a much, much lighter note, here's some stuff I like (for those of you who know me, like, not at all):

• Delicious cheeseburgers
• Romantic patios
• Musical comedies
• Awesome choreography and dancing
• Ingenious set design
• Allison Janney
  
• Dolly Parton

So, guess who just had a life-changing cheeseburger on the lovely, secluded Blue Dahlia patio, followed by about 2 and a half hours of PURE DELIGHT watching 9 to 5: The Musical?

Oh, and Mac! I like Mac. Because he not only went with me, but he actually enjoyed the musical, and I don't think he was just saying that, because I heard him laughing the whole way through, and he expressed awe at the truly amazing set design all on his own. I would also like to take this opportunity to note that while it may be fun for some couples to have everything in common, I think Mac & I end up having more fun because of the stuff that we talk each other into. Like Battlestar Galactica, and musicals.

Wait a minute, I just got an idea...

W.T.F.

And I'm back to politics and feeling frustrated with stupidity. These people I've been railing on, the dumb ones who think Sarah Palin is awesome and actually think Barack Obama is a terrorist? They have faces and voices, my friends. Here they are, if you can stand it:



I'm starting to think that people in this country need to not only be 18 in order to vote, they also need to have a high school diploma/GED and a GPA of at least 2.0 in order to vote. Because these people clearly failed history, current events, science, English, and basic math. For example, the sign at the beginning actually says:
BS = B-->S
OBAMA ->
OSAMA !

Also, this is an actual response to the question, "Do you think Obama is a terrorist?":
"He's got the bloodlines."

W.T.F.

A.Maz.Ing.

And now for something completely amazing and not at all political. Many thanks to Ryan for sending this to me--you know me well, my friend.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

A.Maz.Ing.

vacuous sleazebag

My news crush Keith Olbermann did it again. I love that he has the stage, has the facts, and isn't afraid to use them. I love that he can't hold back from showing us how incredulous and angry he is.


The saddest thing of all with all these Sarah Palin shenanigans is that, for some, they're kind of working. You could hear her pandering in the debate, you could hear her sidestepping questions and flinging out buzzwords. You can actually see her saying and doing the things that appeal to Americans that are scared and stupid and racist and narrow-minded, and her Gosh-darnit, heckuva Joe Six-pack, g-droppin' shtick is actually enough to hide her sleazy tactics from some of these people.

This campaign to me feels like high school all over again. On the one hand, you have the smart kid who would really love to make some changes in the school, who gets up at the school assembly and talks about how to make things better. On the other hand, you have the jackass who's running because he sees the whole thing as a popularity contest, and thinks that just being cute/funny/athletic (and calling the other guy a NERD) is enough to win... and when he sees he isn't winning, starts floating rumors that the other guy still wets the bed. It really is this ridiculous, people, and it shocks and saddens me that more people don't see through it.

In fact, I don't know who I feel more sorry for: The Republicans who are committed to voting with their party, and feel like they have to vote the McCain/Palin ticket even though they can see that the VP nominee is a vacuous sleazebag; Or the people who actually believe what she says, and think that she's doing a great job in this campaign. At least people in the first bucket are voting with a set of principles (regardless of how short-sighted and narrow minded I think they are).

The people in the last bucket are just as dumb as Palin is.

Good enough isn't good enough

Listen.

Parents, educators, friends who care about the world. We have a very important job to do, so listen up.

I'll get to it in just a second, but I'm going to start by saying: I can't take Sarah Palin anymore. And it isn't just because I disagree with her politics, and it isn't just because I find the whole, "Yeah but she's a WOMAN" thing completely insulting to intelligent women everywhere (You mean, you have girl parts? I have girl parts! You've got my vote!).

I can't even take the jokes, and believe me, they're everywhere. Check out Mac's blog, for starters.

It's because she's really, really stupid. And she's the Vice Presidential nominee. THE VICE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, PEOPLE. She has been chosen to run for the second-highest office in the free world, and she insists that living close to Russia gives her foreign policy experience.

I couldn't even watch the whole Katie Couric interview, you guys, I couldn't take it. If you missed it, find it on You Tube.

The bigger problem in all this, my friends, is that it puts on display, for the whole world to see, just how little we value intelligence and education in the United States. You could argue that W did this for eight years as well, I suppose. But what we're seeing with Palin is a whole lot of Americans who identify with her, and think it's GREAT that she shows us that "anyone can be President."

NO! No, anyone can NOT be President! This is not okay! We're talking about the highest office in our country, the highest honor in our land, one of the hardest jobs in the world! The person who holds that job should, at a bare minimum, be really, really smart! And that person's second-in-command should be able to keep up.

So you see, my problem isn't with Palin as a politician, so much as it's with the fact that she can't even discuss the economy intelligently with Katie Couric, and yet nearly 50% of the country still think she's smart enough to be a capable vice president.

I'm not arguing with those people. I'm sure there are some who'd love to comment back at me about how Obama's whatever, and that's not what this is about. We'll all vote in November and see what happens.

Here's what it is about: Parents, educators, friends who care about the world, this is a giant red flag. We have a job to do, and we need to act now. To quote Tami Taylor on Friday Night Lights, "It's my job to make sure you don't grow up stupid. It's bad for the world."

Today's kids are growing up with philosophies very different from what I experienced as a child. They're hearing, "everyone is a winner," whereas I always thought that the winners were whoever, you know, actually won. Today, kids get encouragement no matter how they perform; they're somehow entitled to gold stars just for trying. I got encouragement when I tried too, sure, but I got gold stars when I got it right. I grew up with the motto, "Good enough isn't good enough," and knew at a very young age that if I wanted to be successful, it would require a lot of hard work and learning and sacrifice. Today's kids can look at someone like Sarah Palin and think, "If she can do it, I can do it," and skate by in a world that rewards mediocrity.

Again, I say: this is not okay! We need to encourage our children to do better, work harder, be smarter. We need to reward Excellence, not whatever they churn out. Teachers, that means not coddling kids who aren't doing their work--give them bad grades, and teach them so they do better next time. Professors, that means actually teaching and encouraging critical thinking--you can't just read from the text during class and give take home/open-book tests (true story, I actually paid for that class). And, yeah, parents, that'll mean turning off the TV and taking away the cell phone and monitoring their Internet use and checking their work and doing all kinds of things that might piss them off or make them dislike us for a little while. TOO BAD. Suck it up. We're the adults, we have to do it. I know my (future) kids won't like me sometimes. That's okay. I can take it, because I know they'll thank me later. They'll thank you, too, trust me.

It is our job to make sure our children don't grow up stupid. It's bad for the world.

if you're here, watch it

I have 5 friends who read this, right?


Wow, I hope there's at least 5. I mean, I know my mom reads it (hi, Mom!) and she's voting. So 5 people besides my mom, who read my blog... Could be a tall order. But if you're here, watch it.